Beyonce made an Anthem  Calling all the Single Ladies in the beginning of her song, bringing them to attention, then telling the men in their lives, “if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it”.   “Whoa uh oh!”  the problem with this advice is,  she is down with test driving the merchandise which cheapens it.   Let me let you in on a little secret… Guys and Gals,  pull up a chair and perk your little ears up.  When you want to get a car you test drive it, because it’s a car, and you use a car.  Notice I said USE,  you USE a car, I know the correct word is drive, and ride,  but I don’t want your minds to fall over in the gutter on me.  So how do you keep your sanity and stay holy in this world of Fornication, Masturbation, Pornography, Bisexuality, Homosexuality, Metrosxuality, Bicuriosity and everything else in between.  Oh I am so glad you asked.  You see The bible says that, “A man that findeth a wife findeth a good thing…”  OK Ladies so what is that telling you?  Number one,  if you are out hunting for Mr. Right then you are Wrong!  It’s Ok to make yourself available,  dress yourself up,  but don’t put yourself in situations that will simply get you in trouble.  As a minister I have heard several  excuses when someone ends up pregnant like….”I don’t know how this happenend”.  When I hear that I don’t know whether to give a short class on human sexuality, or chuckle at the vision in my head of the unlucky couple somehow slipping on a magically appearing patch of ice, and his and her pants simultaneously falling down and their genitals falling into each other as well.  What an amazing set of circumstances.  People ask me all the time,  “do you date?” and I answer,  “No”. But I also give them this explanation… As an unmarried woman,  my father, as long as he is living sits as the priest over my life,  if a man would like to date me,  then he must let his intentions be known to him.  We can talk on the phone but if he wishes to take me somewhere, my father must talk to him first.  Well Not long ago this happened, and after exchanging numbers I talked with this man for about a week on the phone then he asked me out so I gave him my fathers number.  Him being a Christian found that to be acceptable, so my father spoke with him,  and immediately told me to cut off all communications with him.  I asked him why, and my father told me that the man was married, and was going through a difficult divorce.  This information was not known to me,  but my father gave him a man to man talk, and  got that information out of him.  Now have I always submitted to my father this way?  No,  when I was in the military I wasted a lot of time dating knuckle heads who only wanted one thing and thankfully I wasn’t a whore but I still wasted a lot of time with them going to clubs and ruining my reputation drinking, smoking and crazy stuff like that.  So now I wait for the right man to come, and when he does I will once again let my father decide, and then we will court each other by spending very little time alone with each other instead I will bring my sister along as  a Chaperone or have other friends along.  I will invite him to church and we will meet in very public places like parks and restaurants.  This is what my brother and his wife did for about a year.  After that was done they stayed apart for about two weeks and fasted asking God for his guidance concerning marriage,  then they talked to their pastors.  Finally my brother asked her mother, and father for her hand in marriage, which is the proper biblical way to do it.  They have been married many years now and have had very few problems,  they did not practice premarital sex and they and I believe in the vows when it says to the groom “Now you may kiss the bride” .  Their is a reason for that folks.  If you save that special kiss and embrace, and all that goes with it for marriage,  it makes things go so much better.  It is a trick of the enemy to send people down the slippery slope of Pornography, fornication and masturbation before marriage because these three things alone are some of the biggest marriage killers.  They train you before your marriage to be intimate with only yourself,  and total strangers or vile images in your head.  When you are with your spouse,  your brain will not know  how to make love,  it will only know  how to do what is saw in the images that are seen in magazines and movies.  Your spouse can’t turn you on because he or she isn’t an acrobat and can’t stand on their head or have 50 climaxes.  Your spouse can’t compete with the man in the picture because he is not built like a horse.  If you practiced the sin of fornication or premarital sex with your spouse you are then tempted with adultery as fornication with others has created soul ties with other people which according to scripture…. you lay with them, you are one with them, then you are married and tied,  you have to ask God to divorce that person out of your marriage, or a constant comparison will occur in the bedroom. You will have a real tug of war on your hands,  your spouses soul  tie on your heart pulling one way, and the ties made previously to another, or several others pulling in the opposite direction, creating a deadly love triangle.  With the premarital sex,  the honey moon is a joke and a waste of money,  couples end up arguing the whole time due to the  guilt of wasting time, and money,  because they know they are doing nothing,  but what they been doing all along,  who do they think they fooling.  Then there is the abomination of bisexuality,  homosexuality and bicuriosity this is an abomination because the bible said it was.  He destroyed the civilizations of Sodom and Gomorrah because of that sin,  it goes against the very nature that God has set in place.  The bible said in the last days that men would be lovers of their own flesh instead of lovers of God (paraphrased).  God’s revulsion for sexual sin and homosexuality is repeated all throughout the book of Roman’s read it in your free time.  In conclusion,  I just want to say,  to all the singles in the struggle,    from one single to another,  just know that you are complete and whole if you have a personal and real relationship with God.  Having a mate will not complete you only complement you!

~Anointed