Abortion my story (Revised version )


I used to be a member of an internet forum called “The Black Church Page” a place where African Americans went to hash out problems affecting their communities utilizing the one tool that African Americans have almost Universally recognized as a beacon of hope and leadership and that is, the community based church. Naturally (for me that is) I was astonished when the topic of abortion came up and people were yapping on and on about a woman has a right to this and that for this reason and that reason. Wow I thought “when did we throw the Ten Commandments” out the window? Did anyone remember, “Thou shalt not kill?” I couldn’t believe what I was reading in this forum, abortion has all but decimated the African American community over “13 million African American children have died from abortion since 1973, over 1,452 are killed per day. Between 1882-1968 3,446 African Americans were lynched in the United States.” Three days of abortion with the statistics as stated above (1,452 x 3 days = 4,356 ), easily surpasses that! I had seen more than enough so I decided to post a response and this is what I wrote(revisions included). ” A lot of times I hear people do what I like to call “Yelling across the fence”, well within the boundaries of safety. Taunting the neighborhood dog just shy of him getting yanked back by his chain. Yes, it can be empowering to sound off about a certain topic if you feel passionate enough about it. However; It really bugs me, to see people so fervent about a topic that many have not experienced on a personal level. For those who did have a personal experience there seems to be a need to justify their actions. Let me ask you; have you been raped? Have you? Well I have, and guess what? I was faced with the horrible decision about what I should do. I remember it just like yesterday, going to the doctor at 4 months and a few days into my pregnancy. The doctor was a Christian who was on duty that day by divine appointment. This man actually talked me out of abortion, not even knowing the situation, this man was simply being led by God to explain to me the horrible procedure that abortion was and the consequences of this procedure mentally, physically and spiritually. He pointed to my belly and said that I was, “carrying a child and not a choice.” I left that office in a daze and unsure of my future. All options I felt were closed, I saw no open doors, I had no extra money, I was a half a world away from family, I did not know who the father was because of the assault. I was just a pitiful pregnant teenager, blinded by tears walking down the lonely corridors of a German built U.S. Military hospital (yes I lived in Europe). It was at that moment that my baby kicked for the first time and let me know that she was alive, through all those tears I actually smiled. I went home and started my long journey through pregnancy and teen motherhood. That was 15 years ago and my miracle child was born. Strangely enough I have found that this child has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. I look at her everyday and listen to her silly jokes and musings and wonder how she would have looked all shredded in a trash bin as an aborted fetus and thank God she wasn’t one. It was prophesied while she was just a toddler that she would be a prophet and mighty woman of God. From the age of 3 she has been a peculiar child with astonishing faith and words of wisdom from God. She gave prophetic words and utterances when she was barely in Kindergarten. I am now grooming her for ministry work. I am so glad that God sent his ministering angels to stay the hand of death away from me and my child. How she came to be is no longer an issue in our lives, it is not her fault and I do not blame her and therefore she does not deserve punishment. Abortion in my case would have been punishment to her, for a crime she had no part in committing, she was just as much a victim as I. So on this topic of abortion I say to each his own, but know that one day each of us will have to stand before our creator and explain our actions to him and I have yet to come up with a good reason why I should have killed my child. Today I am glad I don’t have to. I thought it would only be fair that someone with a real personal life experience should have a say about this topic. It makes little sense to me that people can be so cavalier in their attitude about abortion in the church community. Before a woman goes off to have an abortion people should at least give them the facts on abortion and put them in contact with women that have decided against abortion, weathered the storm, have raised a child from an experience such as this and can testify about it. Romans 8:28 says “All things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose” The devil meant if for bad but God did a “DIVINE REVERSAL” of my circumstances and turned my mourning into dancing. My child and I have victory in Jesus. With God’s help I went to college and finished, many times with my daughter in a carrier, stroller, on my hip , in my lap, or sitting beside me coloring in a book while I took notes. It took me over 8 yrs but during that time my daughter hung in there with me. My daughter even started paying attention to the lectures, once even drawing a picture of a frog dissection. She gave the picture of the frog dissection to my professor, who nearly collapsed in laughter. I asked, “what was so funny?”, and the professor showed me the picture, and I saw where my daughter had drawn all the frogs insides, but she also put shoes on his feet, a hat on his head, and a cane in his hand. Kids, you gotta love em. Now my daughter wants to be a veterinarian, no mystery there….. I’m sure tomorrow it will probably be an astronaut, and next week a race care driver, but they are all a vast improvement from the days when she told her pre-school teacher that she wanted to be a flower pot when she was “growed up”. Do I regret my decision? No no a million times no! I say to God be the glory for the things that he has done for me and my child.

7 Comments

  1. Posted March 4, 2008 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

    What a wonderful testimony. I pray many people do read it.

  2. Posted March 5, 2008 at 5:04 pm | Permalink

    File jpg, jpeg, png, gif, pdf, doc, ppt, odt only. Enable more file types

    click on the video tab and paste the url

  3. sunickat
    Posted March 6, 2008 at 12:56 pm | Permalink

    I was truly blessed as I read your story, I pray that this comes into view of many crying eyes of people who are being faced with this hard decision. Abortion is a life altering decision. It not only affects the mother physically but it can be psychologically damaging as well. I was a teenage mom not due to an aggressive act, but through my own lustful ways. When baby #2 came I knew that I was not able to care for her, I mean I was just getting into college and preparing my career to be a doctor. The night before I was scheduled to go to the clinic, I tossed and turned all night and I would see images of this beautiful baby girl yelling out “mommy don’t kill me!’ I knew at that moment I could not do it, but I still went to my appointment and the moment I stepped out of the car I felt death all around me, and I just broke down. Needless to say, I decided to keep my baby. If anyone asks me how has the experience been? I would say that; “it has been hard work, many trying times, and many tears, but I would not trade her for anything.” When I look into my daughter’s eyes who by the way just turned 14, I see love, I see hope, and I see a mighty woman of God, who will make a difference. I am truly an advocate of what the enemy meant for our bad God will turn it around for our good. We can’t see it at that moment, and it may take months even years, but when you look back at your circumstance you can see God’s hand protecting you even when you have turned your back on him!! By the way I am married with four children all by the same man, and though we have had some hard times, the lives the we brought into this world are worth it. One thing we have to remember is life is not all about you!!

  4. vanessa
    Posted April 10, 2008 at 6:50 pm | Permalink

    wow, what an awesome testimony! I have never been in the situation where I have faced having an abortion - quite the opposite in fact. I faced many years struggling with infertility. I praise God that He worked a miracle and I have a beautiful baby boy. I thank God for the experience because He really taught me that life and our children belong to Him and that we are only here as stewards. In this age we really need to value our children and not think of them as an inconvienience or something that can be discarded.

  5. Posted April 10, 2008 at 8:44 pm | Permalink

    I am glad you got a chance to stop by Vanessa. I am doubly glad that God has blessed you with a baby boy, what a miracle!!! God be praised. I pray he blesses you with many more!!!
    bless you and yours
    Anointed Vessel

  6. Posted August 21, 2008 at 12:45 am | Permalink

    Absolutely love it!!!

  7. Posted August 21, 2008 at 1:01 am | Permalink

    This is deep. You are tremendously blessed.

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